Reflections of the Background
by Callalilies
Summary: A series of short pieces each inspired by a quotation from the books, all focusing on Carlisle and Esme, and their untold story.
1. The Beginning

"He acted from loneliness. That's usually the reason behind the choice. I was the first in Carlisle's family, though he found Esme soon after. She fell from a cliff. They brought her straight to the hospital morgue, though, somehow, her heart was still beating." –Twilight, 252

_What Edward didn't know, primarily because Carlisle himself didn't realize it until much later, was that it was Esme who had put that loneliness there in the first place. _

_The teenager who'd fallen from the apple tree, stubbornly refusing to cry more than absolutely necessary, who'd confided that she'd broken her parents' rule about climbing to help her kitten down from the tree, and had been happy that the cat's landing had been much more graceful than her own, had really been the beginning of it. Her warmth was enough to reveal to him what he'd been missing. _

_Of course, Carlisle had been lonely before, especially after leaving the Volturi, but the loving girl, with her broken leg and content kitten dozing in her lap had brought on a fresh wave of loneliness. A wave that would persist longer than any other had, making his decision to leave harder, despite the fact that he was already pretending to be thirty five. It was that same wave that still haunted him seven years later, when Elizabeth Masen begged him to save her son, and made it so much easier to do as she asked. _

_So it was thanks to Esme that they had Edward. And Edward, who was more their son than any of the others in that strange way, didn't even know._


	2. Deserving

"But as time went on, I began to see the monster in my eyes. I couldn't escape the debt of so much human life taken, no matter how justified. And I went back to Carlisle and Esme. They welcomed me back like the prodigal. It was more than I deserved." – Twilight, 299

_What Edward didn't understand, and Esme wasn't sure how to convince him, was that love didn't need to be deserved. It just was. You could be the cruelest, least deserving person -or vampire- on Earth, and someone, somewhere would still love you. The best of love was unconditional, an absolute, and one Esme had come to appreciate and give more than most in her second life. _

_She had not had love in her first marriage, only fear and resignation, but after her death she had found more love than she'd ever dreamed of. Carlisle loved her, even when she failed him and made the mistakes every newborn makes, even when she felt she could never deserve it, he loved her, and by doing so he had taught her just what she so desperately wanted her son to understand. _

_The lesson she'd learned convinced her that her impulse to love was not something to be denied, but to be embraced. And embrace it she did, loving all of her adoptive children fiercely and steadily, no matter what they did, no matter how little one might say they deserved it, silently praying to the God she wasn't wholly sure was there that she and her husband could teach them all the lesson she was so intensely grateful she'd learned in the years after her death._


	3. A Commonality

Carlisle and Esme waited in a quiet corner far from the line for the metal detectors, in the shadow of a wide pillar. Esme reached out for me, hugging me fiercely, yet awkwardly, because Edward kept his arms around me, too.  
"Thank you so much," she said in my ear.  
Then she threw her arms around Edward, and she looked like she would be crying if that were possible.  
"You will _never_ put me through that again," she nearly growled.  
Edward grinned, repentant. "Sorry, Mom."  
"Thank you, Bella." Carlisle said. "We owe you." –New Moon, 496

_Esme was a nervous wreck, practically shaking where she stood next to Carlisle, even though they all knew Alice and Bella had been in time to stop Edward. She stared intently at the metal detectors. She would not be happy until they were all in front of her, unscathed. They were three of her children, and her family was what she cared about above all else._

_Despite that, Esme would have to work to forgive her eldest son the worry he'd caused her. It was the greatest pain for her to have something happen to her family. Carlisle, of course, knew that it would come to her all too easily once she actually laid eyes on him, and he desperately hoped that the rest of the children would forgive Rose as her parents already had. They hadn't had to talk about it, not thought of punishing their daughter; they knew she'd do that to herself. Both knew that they would forgive her unconditionally. _

_Supreme compassion and love were the two strengths everyone said they possessed, but forgiveness was so closely linked to those attributes that it might well have been listed as their common ability. It was a trait they'd both had to call upon in leading their slowly growing family, with its strong, varied personalities, but they wouldn't trade it for the world._


	4. A Mother's Hopes

"Either he'll kill her himself" –she turned to meet my gaze again, glaring- "which would _really_ irritate me, Edward, not to mention what it would do to _you_- " she faced Jasper again, "or she'll be one of us someday." Midnight Sun 88

…

I had to leave, to be away from the noise of their thoughts – Rosalie's self-righteous disgust, Emmett's humor, Carlisle's never ending patience… Worse: Alice's confidence. Jasper's confidence in that confidence. Worst of all: Esme's…_joy_.

_Edward had been the one without a partner for most of his "second life". First there had been Carlisle and Esme, then Rosalie had come. It wasn't until much later that he'd realized that his parents had hoped the newest addition to their family would be a match for him. To their dismay, the two had expressed a mutual dislike from the moment they'd met. Then Emmett had come into their lives, and once again Edward had been the odd man out. Then Alice and Jasper had come, and while Esme had been thrilled to add two more members to her family, it was clear that at times she was still concerned by the fact that Edward was still alone._

_Carlisle knew that his wife had always felt a little guilty that they'd been so happy while Edward seemed utterly unable –not that he was trying very hard- to meet someone special. It was a trait Edward found endearingly aggravating. _

_Knowing all of this, it was no surprise to Carlisle that the news of Edward's interest in Bella Swan after all his melancholy had Esme beside herself. The disruption it was causing in her family was regrettable, but she was confident that they would get past it as they always did. She wanted nothing but happiness for her family, and she dared to hope with the encouragement of Alice's predictions, that Edward had finally found someone, even if she was human. And from what Alice had said, though they would have a long journey ahead of them, even that could change in the near future. _


End file.
